5. Twenty-Two Tomorrow…

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Holy elephant trunk! IT IS ALREADY MONDAY! Literally, I blinked, and last week disappeared… A jumble of hugs, drinks, goodbyes, plane rides, bus rides, train rides, tram rides, extremely obese backpacks crunching vertebrae, a schnaazzy Valentine’s hotel room, some sushi, a clubhouse, a ‘tropical Whopper’ and Voila! A new life.

“Your plane will be arriving in Melbourne shortly, the local time is 12:45 PM, the weather is currently sitting at 29 degrees.”

Goodbye Queensland/Hello Victoria!

Is it just me or can A LOT happen in a week? And why does time keep speeding up? I feel like I’m still on one of those rides from the amusement park I was at last Monday. Still spinning, round and round, up and down. Constantly Turning… Changing… Everything passes me by in a blur of colour, and I feel dizzy whenever I’m awake. So much to see, so much to do, so much to accomplish before I’m dead! (see BUCKETLIST for examples 😛 )

But no matter how nicely I ask, this ride won’t slow down, and God Knows, I never want it to stop.

It’s my birthday tomorrow, and I’m amazed how fast the last year has come and gone. The last five years, really. Because I still feel like I did when I was 17- um… did I just quote P!nk from her newest album? I think, maybe, a little bit. Oh P!nk, you wise cookie, it’s the Truth about Life. I’m still as young and confused, and equally as curious and eager to learn and explore and change the world as I ever was, okay maybe a little more so now to the latter, especially after finding feminism in my first year at Uni and all that, but I’ll save that story for another time… Anyway, the more I learn, the less I know, or so it feels. And the older I get, the more anxious I become, thanks Mom. I’m a Worry Wart too.

But I must have learned something from this blur of colour that is my life. So I’m putting my thinking cap on and I’m going to share with you twenty-two things I’ve learned in my life-time… Most likely these anecdotes and pieces of advice will be completely useless to you because you are so much older and/or wiser than I, but maybe they will change your life!!!!! Or make you smile.

Hold it! Before you go thinking that I’m clever, you should probably know, I stole this idea. Or as I like to say, “it was inspired by” another blogger’s birthday blog that I read awhile back. Someone who I had the privilege of workshopping with in creative writing at UBC, and who is just genuinely a cool cat and rad writer from NWT. Like my brother from another mother/Mon Ami from another Territory!!! Canada’s True North- REPRESENT!!! I probably just lost you there, but anyway, check out her blog: Fyeahmylife.com

Okay back to me… here it goes: Things I’ve learned about me, other people, the outside world, the “REAL” world, life…

1. Marijuana isn’t for everyone. If you smoke it and it makes you happy, relaxed, lazy, creative, hungry, or just plain stoned, great! But if you try it and it makes you think and then really ( mean reeeallly) believe crazy elaborate conspiracy theories in which everyone and everything revolves around you and you can’t get out of your head but it’s okay because it is safer there- because no one is really who they say they are, and there are cameras in your house planted by the government, and your sister is going sell you on Ebay for cupcakes, like me, you probably shouldn’t smoke it again. You could develop paranoid schizophrenia.

2. You should never take laxatives because you want to poop UNLESS you are actually constipated. Taking laxatives for any other reason i.e. for fun, to lose weight, because you enjoy pooping etc. are not satisfactory reasons. This is not a drug you should ‘experiment’ with!

3. Every Tattoo has a story. Maybe not a really deep, meaningful one, but it came to life somehow, someway, for some purpose, like all other forms of art. And I LOVE hearing tattoo stories, so do share!!

4. People can get addicted to anything.

5. If you feel depressed and the best option feels like staying in bed for days and days and pigging out on pasta and chocolate and ice cream, it’s not, and if you do this too long it will probably make you feel even worse. Stay in bed a little longer than you normally would, allow yourself that small escape, one bowl of ice cream, not the tub! Sleep in, have a nap, but when you wake up force yourself to do something active. Exercise ALWYAS helps. Go for a walk, a run, play tennis with a friend, or just play with a friend ;-), get sweaty and get your heart rate up, trust me, you will feel at least a little bit better!

6. All emotions are contagious; some people just have better immune systems (unfortunately, I am not one of those people).

7. You can learn something from every song you hear if you allow the music to change you.

8. You should always check for toilet paper BEFORE taking a poop. Unless there is a shower in the room and you have the time and energy to wash up oldschool.

9. If you compare yourself to others, you will never be good enough. But if you allow others to influence, teach, and inspire you, you will never stop growing! And eventually you will achieve, invent, or create something you are truly proud of.

10. There is a time and place for every cliché, let’s face it, we like familiar, familiar is safe- but if there are too many on one page it will probably end up in someone’s trash bin.

11. People are obsessed with labels.

12. No matter what the ads say, wearing make up every day is NOT good for your skin. Take a day off once a while, let your skin breathe, let your eyes breathe. Let your real eyelashes see the light, and honey, YOU’VE GOT IT! Some people DO/WILL find you sexy oh-natural!

13. Nicknames make me feel special…

14. Dreadlocks are SEXY and dirty- and not synonymously, I mean dirty, like they are not hygienic. I’m sorry to be dread-dissing, because I find them so sexalicious and downright intoxicating even the smell… But I had dreadlocks for two years and no matter how much I washed them, after 2 years they were full of dirt and sand and most likely small bugs.

15. My Christmas season is not complete until I bake Nanaimo bars.

16. Baking is only fun if you get to give some of it away!

17. Tarot cards are amazing, I read mine all the time, but they can only tell you so much- some things cannot be predicted or foreseen.

18. Change is inevitable…and resisting it will hurt more than you think.

19. I use ellipses more than any other punctuation… because I love them… they are sexier than commas, colons, and periods. And good things come in threes. I once wrote an ode to ellipses poem, but I lost it…

20. I judge people who wear too much white, grey or black. I think they must be stuck up, boring, or just plain depressing.

21. I hate it when people judge people based on appearances (oops!)

22.  Is a Taylor Swift Song on her album RED- I think it will be my theme song this year…

Until Next Time,

XXX,

Heidi J. Loos

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