Heidilicious Highlights

Five Highlights from another Heidilicious Week!

(Because I’m soo vain, I think that you probably wanna read all about ME, don’t you… DON’T YOU!?? Wait, don’t answer that…. just read! please? 😉 )


During my mid-week gym session

My trainer: “Um, Heidi, why are you doing bicep curls? This exercise program doesn’t have bicep curls in it.”

Me: “I’m going to do bicep curls in between every block of cardio I do from now on!”

Trainer (looking very perplexed): “Um, okay, but… why?”

Me (sensualy stroking my non-existent biceps): “Because I want huge biceps. Like really huge rock-hard, bulging, sexy biceps. Mmm girls with big biceps are so sexxxy.”


Trainer: “???”

Then he handed me heavier weights, and walked away shaking his head. = Priceless.


Walking down Sydney road on Thursday night we discovered the cutest little Nepalese Restaurant called Gurkhas. Opening the door to the most seductive scent of curry and spices and the happy chattering of satisfied diners, we opened our mouths to heaven, and we opened our wallets to something that was actually, totally, reasonably priced and didn’t suck out every last penny. They have a martini called a summer surprise with Baileys, Kaluha, peach and banana liqueur and cream,

martinimore like SURPRISE, sex in a glass, of which I had two… mmm… my mouth is watering just thinking about it and the food, of course, the food, I am a bit of a foodie if you haven’t noticed, and this food was deep, and bold, and layered with flavour. And then, it gets even better, we discovered that Gurkhas has more than one location, in fact Gurkha’s restaurants are scattered all over Melbourne! SCORE!!! I Can’t wait to try more DELICIOUS Nepalese food, Thanks Gurkhas!


This week, my drug of choice: “Zilarex” 24 Hour Anti-Allergy Control. Well, it was kind of an accident really, I mean had no intention of getting “high”… I’m not really a recreational drug user (anymore). But i’ve just been really congested for the last few months and sneezing tons, so I thought, well hey, here’s a thought: it might be nice to actually be able to breathe through my nose for once! So I asked the pharmacist for something to help me out. I am not sure what I am allergic too exactly, I know dust bothers me, but my house is pretty dust-free at the moment, so it must be seasonal allergies or something or maybe I’m just allergic to Australia, to BOGANS… Kidding!

Anyway, I took the tinyest itty bitty, eensy weensy white pill and then twenty minutes later it was like BAM! Not so tiny. A huge gust of wind in my head, a cool breeze twisting through my nasal cavities freezing behind my eyes into my forehead, ice melting in my brain. The sensation started in my head, but soon flooded through my entire body. I could feel the drug like electricity shooting through my veins. I know you’re probably thinking, yeah right Heidi, it was probably all in your head. That’s what my girlfriend thought, too, at first. But honestly, I am hyper sensitive to most substances. I mean, I’m like a grandma when it comes to caffeine if I drink a coffee or even a caffeinated tea after noon (12pm), I won’t sleep at all that night! So suddenly I was riding this anti-allergy high and it was the strangest foggiest ride with little bubbles of clarity popping, exploding, chilling my chest. I felt like I was suddenly in another reality. Everything looked different, felt different. It was almost like being stoned (minus the paranoia) and a little like being on mushrooms without any crazy hallucinations, but it was still really trippy visually and mentally. I felt like I was in someone else’s body, or just that I was in my own for the very first time, I felt so completely embodied. And coming from a person who lives in their head and seldom visits the other sectors of my own body, it was a very intriguing. To feel everything, to feel each breath delivering oxygen to every inch of my being. Waves of cool, of happy, of adrenaline, of high. But hey, I could breathe through my nose!!!! So it worked the way it was supposed to right? Thank goodness I had the day off work.



This week we took up a friend’s restaurant suggestion, and tried out Vegie Bar on Brunswick Street in Fitzroy, and OH MY VEG, so much veg, BEST PLACE in Melbourne to veg out. It is a completely vegetarian restaurant with tons of gluten-free and vegan options. And both the venue and the menu are HUGE. Stir fries, pizzas, pastas, curries, noodle-dishes, rice-dishes, wraps, salads, veggie burgers, veggie appetizers, samosas, spring rolls, mushroom caps, everything you could want MINUS meat, (obviously). But trust me, when vegetarian food tastes this good, even the meatiest meat lovers can do without the flesh for a night! Since trying Vegie bar, I’ve already been back for seconds in the same week, and I’m thinking I am going to become a vegie bar regular. The food is incredible, and I haven’t even tried any of the deserts yet! But the icing on the cake is all the attractive people who work there, and dine there, like lots of sexy artsy hippie types. Mmm- yum.

#1 SUNDAYLICIOUS @ the Wharf Hotel

Last night I ventured out to a lesbian event that happens once a month here in Melbourne called Sundaylicious. This was the first crazy OUT all night kinda night I’ve had here in Melbourne since I moved here in February. And it was all very exciting. (Except the part where I lost my girlfriend and later found out that she had been kidnapped by the police-but then again, that’s not really my story to tell!)…

I became known as “Canada”


aka the girl who pissed in the Urinal. People kept coming up to me all night long being like, “Oh hey, I saw you pee standing up” or, “My friend saw you pee standing up” or just, “Props for peeing standing up” “are you the girl the peed in the urinal?”

or Guy in Red Shirt (to everyone all night long)”This is my friend Heidi, I met her while taking a pee in the Urinal”  (to  me) “Did you know my grandma can do that?”

(Me) “Um, okay, thanks for sharing??!”


It was a strange kind of fame, but hey, I take what I can get so I gobbled it up. And speaking of gobbling, the easter bunny tried to gobble my face last night. And yes, I may have snogged that festive rabbit just a little or at the very least shared a kiss with a lesbian cougar dressed up in a bunny suit. But then I had to run away and hide because this fuzzy bunny wanted a lot more than a friendly Easter kiss.This bunny wanted to get frisky, and rattle my eggs! And we’ll never quite know who came first the bunny or the chicken? The cougar or the fawn? But I had to do a little bunny avoiding, and luckily I had some help…

I ran into a friend that I haven’t seen in over six years and the serious, enthusiastic, catching up made my whole night!

Then there were all the drinks, vanilla vodka and cokes, too many cigarettes, especially for a non-smoker, getting my flirt on then turning down chicks, and bunnyrabbits apparently, and peeing in urinals.

Shake, shake, shake it off!

What a night.

What a week.

Until Next Time!!



Heidi J. Loos


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