Oh God, I didn’t realize I was a hoarder until yesterday.
I came back to my parents house to visit for a week and they’ve recently moved into a new house. A smaller house, and a much nicer house, because all the children are all grown up and won’t wreck all their nice stuff (well that is the idea anyway) 😉 Anyway they’ve moved from my childhood house which I was sad about, weird hey, how we are so attached to space. I can’t go to my old bedroom, where I cried and slept and snuck out of the window every other weekend as a little high school delinquent. Ah well, there new house is beautiful, but they had to downsize a lot. All my ‘junk’ that I had lying around my childhood house is now covered in rotten food at the local dump, or in someone else’s closet because they bought it at the Sally Ann for $10.
I was mortified that my mom took my prom dress to the Salvation Army, which is kind of hilarious when you think about it. I don’t really wear fancy dresses. My mom’s response to my shock at her discarding the item:
“I thought you didn’t wear dresses anyway, cause you’re a lesbian!”
HAHAHAH umm… what? Oh. Dear.
I remember running around all over Vancouver looking for that dress with my older sister. I wanted a tie dyed prom dress, but they didn’t exist then! At least, not in Vancouver, and definitely not in Whitehorse! LOL! But the dress I did get was turquoise and open backed and ridiculously expensive! I was hoping to fit in it again one day, or at least keep it and give it to my daughter. But my mom assures me, my future daughter would NOT have worn it anyway. But alas, it is gone, and I feel a strange pang of sadness at it’s absence.
I came here to find a lot of my old things, nick-knacks, those things I was saving just in case, or just because, are GONE!
Except one bin that I had labelled “Heidi’s stuff, DO NOT THROW AWAY.”
My mom says she didn’t throw it away because it was labelled. Shit, I guess I should have put a sticky note on my prom dress hey? 😛
The bin was filled with soccer medals from every year I was in soccer, horse-show ribbons (did you know they had 5th and 6th place ribbons!? haha what an achievement!) and old photos from my teen years, including naked photos I took when I was like 15, isn’t that illegal? Thanks Wal-Mart. The rubber bin was piled high with old love letters and birthday cards and a diary from every year of my live starting at 5 YEARS OLD! I can’t even read the writing, but I have to say I am very attached to them. In my early years I mostly wrote about hamsters, I was a little obsessed. I had six hamsters during my childhood, and an email address that incorporated those fuzzy little rodents too: firstname.lastname@example.org
And of course, I sat up late into the night last night reading my angsty teen writing and laughing at how dramatic I was, and then sighing deeply, realizing I really haven’t changed that much! So I tried to downsize but everything I put my fingers on I remembered how it came about, why I have been keeping it all these years.
I even had a box filled with teeny weensy Christmas ornaments, candy canes made out of pipe cleaner and bulbs made out of little shiny beads. They were because every year at Christmas I would have a miniature Christmas tree for my hamsters!
What a weirdo…
But I guess, I’m still a weirdo
After all these years.
I am just glad my hoarding habits aren’t as severe as the people I’ve seen on that American reality show. I was able to downsize to a teensy weensy box that my mom won’t be AS inclined to throw away, and of course, I labeled it! All I kept was my journals because hey, A LOT of time and effort went in to writing those thoughts, and dreams, and silly little hamster anecdotes.
Oh, and I kept one of those baby books where the new mom keeps details about everything, first steps, first word, first trip to the doctors (only in mine it was the vet) because the whole book is dedicated to one of my hamsters, North Star. It even has little ink foot prints of his tiny paws!
Until next time, xox