What I want when I DINE OUT anywhere

When I go out to dine at a restaurant there are five things that I want:

#1 A Good Vibe – no matter how fancy, white table-cloth whatever, I don’t want to eat somewhere yuppy, uptight, or bland to look around in- so give me some colour, some art, some music, and some entertainment! Entice all my senses.

#2 Yummy Drinks – show me some variety, I don’t just want beer, wine and cider (sure maybe that’s what I’ll decided to drink that night) but I want the options to be there, a list of intriguing liquor concoctions that’ll pop my cork- fizzle my whistle, and it’d be nice if the cocktail list came with virgin options too, pregnant women and non-drinkers should still get shaken, blended, dressed up drinks with awesome little swords and cherries, and tiny umbrellas too…

#3 EPIC FOOD – duh!

(And satisfactory portion sizes- not huge so I eat myself silly, but not less than a bite per appetizer. The first nibble just gets you started: you need at least three full bites for every tastebud in your mouth to fully awaken and engage…and then a few more to be satisfied) Make me squirm in my seat, make me moan, if I don’t get at least one mouthgasm tonight, it wasn’t worth it, and I probably won’t come back. AND there must be a dessert selection, with at least one thing chocolatey.

#4 Good *Personal* Service- I appreciate ‘good service’, but I appreciate personality, originality, humour, “weirdness” even more. Seriously, all the generic serving phrases and waitress cliches should be left in the dish pit with the dirty dishes- you just served that sentence to the people before me, whip up a clean one, I don’t want no sloppy seconds. But, I know as a server myself, half the time you’re trained on the boring script… but who’s going to pay for boring? (okay so maybe some lamos but not moi!) I will tip you for your creativity, trust me. I like the unscripted, the improvised, sure some of it can be a little rehearsed but when you’re describing that dessert and your passion and humour shine through, you’ll have won my heart!

#5 Awesome company – but for this one, you can’t really blame the establishment… >.<

The next couple of weeks I am dedicating my  weekly blogging to dine out Vancouver, I will be trying a bunch of new restaurants in the next two weeks and am going to report back on how awesome (or not) they are!

Om Nom Nom,

HJL

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