Tag Archives: halloween

Drunken Pumpkins

Dear Blogosphere,

Today I woke up to a disaster, it was as if the pumpkin-zombie-apocalypse happened in my living room. Orange stringy guts EVERYWHERE: on the floor, on the couch, on the coffee table, on the tv stand, on the flatscreen, on the walls, and a great big pile in the middle of the room mixed with soggy newspaper.

The house was saturated in juicy innards, and smelled of rotten pumpkin and stale vodka.

See, in my drunken state last night, after two hockey games, six doubles and three beers, I decided it was a perfect time for my girlfriend and I to get festive, buy some pumpkins, and carve them up real nice.


Luckily, nobody lost a finger or poked an eye out- well, except for these poor little guys-


We cut open their skulls, sliced out their eyeballs and ripped out their brains!

But when the lights went out and two little lesbians when to bed, these pumpkin zombies came right back to life and got their revenge…


How else could the place get sooo freaking dirty!?!

And those Damn Drunken Pumpkins drank our good vodka!




P.S. Think b4 you dress up: what does your costume say?!