Tag Archives: Heidi J. Loos

Your Letter Shames Me

You’d think award winning writers of all people would be able to steer clear of the cliche and harmful narratives of rape culture- but no, they are being widely distributed by the Canadian literature community.

I am disgusted.

For me, as a UBC creative writing grad, and a survivor of multiple sexual assaults reading this letter was very disturbing and triggering.

Stop shaming us for coming forward, or for staying quiet. Stop shaming us for wanting justice, or for not wanting anyone to know. Stop hurting us! Stop belittling us! Stop questioning the legitimacy of our allegations! STOP SURVIVOR SHAMING!

I am a survivor, and I will always stand with survivors.

It is so fucking hard to come forward when this shit happens.

When my soccer coach sexually assaulted me at fourteen I was terrified to come forward, but I did, and a lot of people didn’t believe me. The police made me feel like it was my fault, that I lead on my 50 year old coach. WTF. They made me believe that if I went through with it and tried to press charges, I would ruin his career, his reputation, and I didn’t really want that right? Especially since he had a family, and was a stand up guy, very smart, and well-liked in the community. So i didn’t press charges, but years later I wish i did. I worry that he has hurt so many girls because I couldn’t stop him. It still haunts me.

While I was attending UBC I was sexually assaulted on public transit. It was night time and no one else was on the bus. He pinned me against the window and grabbed my thighs and crotch and breasts. I was petrified. When I finally wriggled out of his grasp and got off the bus I ran and ran, tears flowing down my face, terrified that he was following me to come rape me. This still haunts me.

And there are more, some of which I just can’t bring myself to speak publicly about. The shame is so intense, the guilt, and the fear.

When I heard about the allegations toward Steven Galloway I can’t say I was surprised, but I was very relieved I never took a class with him. I honestly think I avoided male professors in small class settings on purpose. Of course, I would never have admitted this then, I always rationalized it that I just preferred female teachers, and supervisors, and coaches because I could connect with them better or something. But really, it is because I have seen it, and lived it, and more than half the time the men who are abusing their power and making everyone uncomfortable don’t even know they are doing it because rape culture, duh! It’s everywhere. Every single woman I know has been sexually assaulted or raped, and they’re not fucking making it up.

We don’t make this shit up! When will people stop saying this? When will they stop standing with the perpetrators and rapists, and pointing fingers at us. Calling us the liars. Just because they ‘know’ them. Just because, we’re women, we’re emotional, and the allegations have not bee ‘proven’. Just because his words have more power, more value, and more worth then hers, and hers and hers, and mine.

I can’t, I just can’t.

1st Trump. Then this.

This letter has really shaken me up,  I feel really hurt that all of the authors who signed this, think its okay to stand with the perpetrator of sexual assault and publicly discredit and shame victims and survivors everywhere.

supportingsurvivors

Thanks for reading.

Sincerely,

Heidi J. Loos

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Wanna act?

It’s almost that time again!48hrfilmchallenge

The Yukon film society is hosting its 48 hour film challenge this weekend and I am putting a team together (albeit kind of last minute!). Anyway, I am in need of a couple solid actors! If you live or will be in Whitehorse, YT this weekend and are able to commit to a couple hour brainstorming session on Friday and a full day shoot Saturday- join my team! No acting experience necessary, just a willingness to try, take direction, and have FUN! If you are available and interested shoot me an email b4 Thursday evening: heidijloos@gmail.com

I hope to hear from you!!

💜❤️️💛

HJL

Costuming

The last couple of Octobers’ my fiance Lyndsie and I have had a blast dressing up and doing Halloween photo shoots. FYI, you’re never too old to play dress up, and I highly recommend letting LOOSE and letting that inner freak (or ghoul or witch) OUT.  Or just watch us do that in this video I made, and judge us for it. 😛 Because unique to this year, I actually have a video camera, so I was able to film some of our costuming endeavours this weekend.

Also, if you’d be so kind, let me know which costume(s) you like best (or if you have an idea that’s even BETTER with some of the clothing items, facepaint & accessories you see us in) TELL US and help us decide what to go out in next weekend.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ❤

xox

HJL

A Successful Chalk Festival

Last weekend was the 1st Yukon Chalk Art Festival, which I had the pleasure of producing for Unlikely Events Yukon. 

Chalkposter

It went sooo well. Everyone had a blast making beautiful chalk art, taking chalk art workshops with local artists Nicole Bauberger and Emma Barr, and playing in the sunshine with all the other artists.

I was so relieved the rain held off for us. We only had to take the giant tarp out once, and as soon as we did, it stopped raining. Thank-you Mother Nature. ❤

I really hope this event grows every year. Chalk art is an amazing medium, and such a fun activity to do on a sunny summer day.

Check out all of the beautiful photos from the event, courtesy of Alistair Maitland Photography.

YukonChalkFest
Myself, and Unlikely Events Yukon Artistic Director, Suki Wellman celebrating the end of a successful 1st Chalk Art Festival in the Yukon.

 

Also if you’re around Whitehorse tomorrow we will have the chalk out again at the Kwanlin Dun Cultural Centre for National Aboriginal Day! Come celebrate and create a chalky collaboration with us.

Xox

Heidi J. Loos

Heather @ Yukon Chalk Fest

The 4th chalk video I made for Unlikely Events Yukon features Heather Von Steinhagen– a born and raised Yukon artist, who I had the pleasure of meeting last summer at our offsite chalk art venue for Nuit Blanche! I love her colourful, space art! Check it out. 🙂 And be sure to come to the 1st Yukon Chalk Art Festival on June 11 & 12, 2016 at the Kwanlin Dun Cultural Centre and dana Naye Ventures in Whitehorse Yukon. 10-5pm both days!

Thanks for watching!

xx HJL ❤

Nicole @ Yukon Chalk Fest

The 3rd chalk video I made for Unlikely Events Yukon is about Nicole Bauberger, who is not only one of the 10 featured artists at the 1st Yukon Chalk Art Festival, but will also be teaching a chalk art workshop for adults on Sunday June 12, 2016 from 1-4PM in the parking lot of dana Naye Ventures on the corner of 5th and Black St. in Whitehorse.